Welcome Kindergarten Parents

Helpful Information For Your Child’s

First Year of Elementary School

Starting Kindergarten Smoothly

Sleep is essential for your child to be able to concentrate and do his/her best. Developmentally, kindergartners need 10 or 11 hours of sleep each night.

Bedtime is also an excellent time for your child to talk about how he/she is feeling about school.

· Establish a daily routine of emptying your child’s backpack, signing important papers, and reviewing homework. Create a special place where your child keeps his/her backpack. Having all your child’s school work packed and ready to go will help to ease the stress of getting out the door in the morning.

· Allow your child to take the responsibility of getting ready and dressed in the morning. Have him/her lay out his/her clothing choice the night before.

· Create homework space and schedule a consistent homework time. It is important to have this time allotted, just as one would for extra-curricular activities. This sends the message that you value the importance of his/her education.

· Often kindergartners are apprehensive about going to the bathroom at school. Create a plan of how to communicate his/her need to use the restroom to the teacher

Make sure your kindergartner begins the day with breakfast. Give him/her nutritional choices that will sustain him/her through the day

Kindergarten Separation Anxiety

Separation anxiety at the beginning of the school year can be common, yet with a little planning and forethought it can dissipate quickly.

Here are some helpful tips for saying good-bye.

· Kindergarten can be a tough transition for parents. If you are experiencing any anxiety about your child’s first day of school, try not to let him/her sense it. Children can be very intuitive. Speak excitedly about school, the fun things he/she will learn, and the friends he/she will make.

· Put your child in charge of some part of the morning routine (getting dressed or packing the backpack). This will give your child a sense of control in the morning.

· Plan how you will say good-bye beforehand. Practice relaxation techniques, such as taking a deep breath from your stomach. Discuss who will pick him/her up from school and talk about things he/she will do after school.

· When you are saying good-bye, calmly communicate through your words and body language that you are confident that your child will be ok. Make your good-bye brief. Lingering only increases discomfort.

· Reinforce the connection between home and school. Have your child make something for the teacher or a friend at school.

· If separation continues to be a problem, send an object, or photograph with your child to help make the separation easier.

Although there may be tears at the door, very few children continue to cry after mom or dad has left the school. Children are wonderfully distractible and can usually be redirected into some interesting task. Thankfully, separation anxiety usually fizzles out, and soon those tugging-at-your-shirt-and-heart days will be a distant memory.

Becoming a Consultant Parent for Your Kindergartner

The Elementary Counselors have adopted the parenting philosophy titled “Parenting with Love and Logic” by Jim Fay and Foster Cline. This philosophy believes that effective parenting centers on love: love that is not permissive, love that doesn’t tolerate disrespect, but also a love that is powerful enough to allow kids to make mistakes and permit them to live with the consequences of those mistakes.

Jim Fay and Foster Cline describe three different parenting styles: the helicopter, drill sergeant, and consultant.

Helicopter Parents:

The helicopter parent hovers and swoops in to rescue children as soon as problems begin to develop. Helicopter parents send the message that “you are fragile and you need me to protect you.” “You can’t make it in life without me!” Kindergarten parents often fall into this trap unknowingly. Kindergarten can be a tough transition for parents. There can be a definite sense of loss as one’s child is crossing this major developmental milestone. Helicopter parents have difficulty letting go. They wonder how their child is doing, if their child is sad, or if the day is too long, etc… These parents are the ones that carry their child’s backpacks, stay around until the bell rings, come eat with their child at lunch, peak in the window, pick-out their child’s clothes for him/her, and allow their child to dictate what time he/she goes to bed. These parents may also allow their child to throw a temper tantrum, blame friendship problems on the other children, and make excuses for their child’s behavior. In general, helicopter parents, although well intentioned, do not hold their child accountable. Beware: this type of parenting may create a child that is dependent on others and does not accept responsibility for his/her actions.

Drill Sergeant Parents:

The drill sergeant sets the rules, issues orders, and punishes infractions. Kindergarteners are entering a whole new world. They are now in a structured setting, with different rules and limits. Little ones will inevitably make lots of mistakes. The drill sergeant parent has very rigid demands and punishments for their child’s behavior. Instead of allowing them to learn and grow from their child’s mistakes they use threats, orders, or punishments to solve them. Children may stop their bad behavior temporarily. However, when punishments are overused, parents will find that they have to increase the degree of the punishment. In addition, children will resent their parents and not look at the consequences of their own actions.

Consultant Parents:

Consultant parents provide a loving, nurturing environment while teaching their children to be responsible and solve their problems. Consultant parents allow their child to experience life’s natural consequences, and they allow the consequences to serve as the teacher. Consultant parents offer choices and alternatives instead of orders. They are empathetic and good listeners, but resist the temptation to solve or eliminate their child’s problems or future challenges. Rather, they help guide their children to be their own problem solvers. Consultant parents know that routine and consistency provide emotional security for their children. These parents lay the groundwork in kindergarten to avoid future struggles later. Consultant parents let go of some of their control by allowing their children age-appropriate choices.

If your are interested in learning more about being a consultant parent, look for the Discipline with Love and Logic videotapes at your school or for the book at your local bookstore.